Pistol Grip Pumpin Telemarketers
2004-07-20||xx||6:02 p.m.
My apologies to the schmuck whose job it is to call people during the day and begin his speech with these words: "This is not a sales call."
A- i was watching a movie, and said phone call distracted me from seeing Joe Pesci frustrated, b, I haven'r been feeling my best lately so therefore I am very...touchy.
So here's how it goes.
"this isn't a sales call."
"We'd like to reward you and your family for taking vacations with us down here in Alexandria, VA with luggage with your name on it. " Ohhhh, so that's where the luggage always goes huh? Airlines forwards it directly to Alexandria, VA where the reward you for vacations by giving it back? Wish i had known that before, i'd have saved them some effort and included enough postage to SEND IT BACK!
But I didn't say this, I just got more and more efforted in stopping him from going on. Little bastard wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise and when I finally said, No, i wasn't interested, he says...Oh you little shit, he says, Why aren't you interested sir? Is it because you don't believe this is free?
Well, no I really don't. Sure, i can come, vacate, and spend time at your lovely resort. Maybe walkabout, see the locals, hey! What's this? A knickknack shop! I can take back memoirs of my visit! BET THEIR EXPENSIVE! And there goes the free theory, right out the window because young man, nothing in life is fucking free. To get friendships one must spend time developing them, they don't just happen overnight.
Then, after explaining the reason I wasn't interested in their vacations was because of Mike's timeshare and the fun family going on's therein, this little shit says we don't have to vacate in Alexandria. i almost agreed with him and hung up then, but I guess I wanted a little more abuse.
I told him no, and then he said I could also get a digital camera (have one), a DVD player (have four), dinner checques (I work ina resteraunt, and am gifted enough by my friends appelations to be a chef), and so forth. He got lucky, he thanked me for my time and got off the phone before I decided to go into a tirade against his particular form of telemarketing. I have a feeling though, that in my old age I will simply get meaner and trap these kids online with my speeches and so forth. I got one working right now for my doctor's in fact too- I sent them money and they sent me a bill like I never sent them a payment. Sad to say for them though, i kept the fucking receipt! HAH! I shall pay off the balance like I intended to, and forget them, and if I get any more bills a collection department will be getting the beginnings of a very nasty, mean, pissed off at their money grubbing attitudes asshole phone call, from moi.
Normally, i am a nice guy, but when it comes to telemarketers and the anti telemarketers, I become a little different.
This is not a sales pitch...
Bullshit. This is not me being shitty, can you believe that one? No? Well, I guess that was as hard for you to swallow as it is for me to believe anyone calling to offer a service isn't looking for a little greenback in the process. How gullible do you think I fucking am? Call the gullibles down the street, or better yet, get into a decent line of work. keep those phone line polluting motherfuckers to theri own. And you wonder why i spend so much time online- it's so I can't hear the phone ring!
I chose lyrics for this one- i don't know if I posted these yet or not, but it's a rage Against the Machine song you have to hear if you love hardcore music. It's called Pistol Grip Pump
Pistol grip pump on my lap at all times (3x)
They can be fucking with other niggas shit, but they cant be fucking with mine Pistol grip pump on my lap at all times (3x)
They can be fucking with other niggas shit, but they cant be fucking with mine
I was raised in the hood called what the diffrence
The brothers in the hood be Chivalrous
So i rest defense on my ligaments
Pistol grip pump on my lap, riskin it
Full life living it, never giving it back
Too late for slipping, so slack up
On my lap its on your lips so track shot
A steel dick more clip for pump but
All im saying there aint no question who the man is
In my civic or in this show biz
I drill the fool, kill the fool
Come on what you say?
i think i can take care of all you muthafuckas don't delay right away
Pistol grip pump on my lap at all times (3x)
They can be fucking with other niggas shit, but they cant be fucking with mine
Pistol grip pump on my lap at all times (3x)
They can be fucking with other niggas shit, but they cant be fucking with mine
Pistol grip pump on my lap at all times, right?
Cause tricks be out for your blindside
Never understood it, but remember i showed you
That in these times you gotta look over your shoulder, strap
Well that ain't nothin' but the intent of gettin high
And a cop giving you shit for just passing you by
If your ever in trouble or on the double best to call your pals
If you got...?
?
Are we getting along? we family, we better be
We got your back, we got your back kid
Just dont be pointing one of them guns, allright man
Pistol grip pump on my lap at all times (3x)
They can be fucking with other niggas shit, but they cant be fucking with mine
Pistol grip pump on my lap at all times (3x)
They can be fucking with other niggas shit, but they cant be fucking with mine
Pistol grip pump on my lap at all times (3x)
They can be fucking with other niggas shit, but they cant be fucking with mine
Pistol grip pump on my lap at all times (3x)
They can be fucking with other niggas shit, but they cant be fucking with mine
Yes, this is how that telemarketer made me feel...
Cephy