Could I Be More Lonely?
2004-07-04||xx||1:25 a.m.
Heard this song tonight after I got home,a nd i decided that it would be my lyrics for the night. It's human drama, a band that I seriously doubt anyone outside of the gothic listening community has heard of, and even then they may not have. The song is Lonely, and I love the lyrics.
Lonely
ashes fall from the cigarette of the man who can't forget
who learns more from a single second of silence
than from any word ever spoken to him
any poem misunderstood
or from every second of his past that haunts him
could i be more lonely
could i be more lonely
could i be more lonely
i don't know if i could
put in front of the mirror
why he can't recall
as he stares into the scars he cannot cover
but to all hands laid upon him
and all the hands that try to hold him
the pain still hides beneath the surface
could i be more lonely.....
night passes behind him but he doesn't turn to look
the shackles and the gag will not allow it
so far am i from caring, he says
or do i care too much?
for the more i give the more i must be given
could i be more lonely
i don't know if i could
---------------
Now... I just got home from work. it's saturday night and god it was boring tonight. Rachel came back and gave me a bunch of grief for wearing chef pants and the bandana like I do, but hey, i have been there fairly consistently for a year now, holding up my end of the bargain while she helped out another store. Give me a break. So, just one more thought as to why i should just leave Pargos and go to work for Canapes. Plus, they'd likely pay me better too, though i would miss Korrie and Jody. But i bet I could go see them on wed nights. :) Oh yeah, quit there to drink there. I do have my priorities straight, don't I?
Spent the weekend as usual with Mike and Autie, though i came up this time with frank, chrissy and Kate. That was fun though Chrissy and I got into it a little over the cell bill. The month of having no to little money because of extra charges really blew. But still, we had fun and then Mike and I sat up late and talked into the wee hours of the morning.
i really enjoy going over there on the weekends- it's like a recharge for me as far as the week goes. i can relax for once, and just chill.
Saturday we watched Cold Mountain a movie that both enticed me and disgusted me. The war parts mainly were disturbing and for a time I was wondering how i could manage to excuse myself from them. I, just didn't care for the brutality of the moment I guess...
Anyways, they (Mike and autie) brought me in to Pargos for work, then they decided to sit at the bar and have a few drinks. I guess Brian and his girl met them so i went out to say hi to them and in the process pick up my cloves from autie. she was a HUGE sweetheart and went across to the mall to geta pack for me cause I ran out. I appreciated it immensely because I was able to relax later and have one after 9ish.
I did get to show them who Jody was and Autie mentioned that she would sleep with her, and Mike was willing to watch... How odd.
But all was good, and when I got home I saw that I had managed to win the USB cable on ebay that i was in need of. This thing allows me to transfer music from my minidiscs to the comp for burning, and normally runs around $75 in the stores. So, i was happy to see that i was getting mine for just under $30, with shipping. great news indeed. Now I am surfing and reading and shit. i have to work tomorrow, oh yay, on what will no doubt be a boring fucking day, and earlier help Jackwith some boxes and such. What fun.
Peace,
Cephy
PS- the titles of these posts are going to reflect the songs I choose to post lyrics for, and are not neccessarily how I am feeling at the moment. Just thought I would post that because well, the title of this one could be taken badly if someone saw it and didn't understand that i just loved the song and the imagery it conjured for me...:)