A Bit About GE6 & Feast
2004-06-11||xx||8:16 a.m.
Warning- it may be difficult to keep up with me and the diary, since I have so many things to update with and having the convenience of my comp here, well...
So I made a mistake. I went to E-Sam, and like a damned fool, looked up the comments about GE. Yeah, I admit it- i was fishing for opinions about feast, since I don't trust my own instincts, or the words of those I feel are trying to bolster my confidence. I shouldn't even have bothered. Somebody named taco from Neverwinter decided to rip the feast. Bitched about things being too salty, or bland, gray mashed potatoes... which i must admit, was a bit unsettling to me too, and so forth. It was the recipe- it called for boiling potatos with tea bags then mashing them. It was an interesting taste I thought, certainly not uneatable, but I guess it wasn't even that to him.
Niki attempted to defend the feast, quoting the singular stove, and those that worked their butts off all day, but all that does is open up areas for people to attack.
Oh well, fuck it. I do this for a living, and I learned long ago that no matter how good you are, or how long you have been cooking, your just not going to please everyone. Ever. And if you think you can, then your in for a very rude shock.
Will I let this get to me? Dissuade me from my job,? No, not likely. I know my skill there. Will I let it cause me doubt in future feasts? Maybe, but unlikely. I just won't do that menu again, and those recipes that failed, won't be repeated. The lipton mashed potatos, the orange cilantro chicken, the somewhat failed honey glaze for the veggie kabobs- that was all stuff I can live without doing again. And while I would dearly have loved to drop a prime rib on them, with a cabernet sauvignon sauce along side it, it just wasn't feasible as far as cost went. Maybe another year, another feast, another time.
It's funny, I think, that while tempers were flaring in the kitchen, and amongst our wonderful servers, who worked so hard, I was telling everyone that you couldn't expect across the board compatibility with it. And I was cautioning them. And yet, after all was said and done, after the last food had been sent out, and all were fed, I was the one closest to breaking down.
Yep, I was welling inside with a steady, nasty flow of tears. So bad that i had to call Brooke and talk to her. I don't think I have ever needed someone so bad in all my life, and I just couldn't show anyone what i was feeling.
And now this.
I was glad that Amber was there, though I just could never get enough time with her to break down. Of course, that's always been the case with her and I- just not enough time between we two. So, i countered the entire thing in a truly, truly destructive way. I got fucking drunk. A full bottle of Butterscotch Schnapps, a full bottle of Port Sherry, two bottles of raz Smirnoff coolers, some beer, some various hard liquors, and a 32 oz Jim and coke...That was my medicine as I self destructed quietly, away from those who didn't know. Of course, the odd people saw it. Juicy, who entered the kitchen as I was coming to grips with it all.
At work, when i used to get this way, I would go into the cooler, and just sit. The cold air was good for stilling it all. There was no cool air to be had here, and so it all just happened. Good thing the camps were so far apart, I was able to steady myself more easily.
Ah well, this one is done.
Cephy